ABBA the Slut

ABBA has always been a mixed blessing for me. In my formative years it was used as the instrument of abuse. What had happened was: every Saturday morning my mother would get it in her head that the whole family should come together and clean the house. Putting ABBA Greatest Hits on the stereo was the signal that the day of horrors was to begin. Upon first hearing that drumbeat and synthesized sounds my siblings and I would go scurrying for whatever place of hiding we could find. For years I was like Pavlov's dog (if the dog had been abused by ABBA). It wasn't until the late teenage years that I was able to appreciate ABBA as more than mind-control. I became a fan. A casual fan, mind you, but a fan. I mean, who doesn't like the occasional ABBA song? On the other hand, Kaida is closer to those groups of fans I like to call "The Nuts and Sluts." They just go crazy for their favorite musicians. (She feels the same way about Bon Jovi and Rita MacNeil.)

When the new movie MAMMA MIA Kaida saw it three times on opening day, and she was through the roof. She demanded I see it, which I will, but I fear I'm destined not to like the movie as much as she. How could I? I didn't even know it was based on a Musical. And, well, I don't lose my mind over ABBA. I'm not an ABBA Nut. (Or an ABBA Slut.) Anyway, with the movie's release, I thought it would be a good idea to run a Top 20 ABBA Songs list. Initially Kaida and I were going to make it collaborative, but after the 50th fight on where to put "Voulez Vous" I demanded my name be taken off the credits. Also, we fight incessantly about how to pronounce ABBA. I, like all people who are not monsters, say it correctly. Kaida has "other" ideas. And without further ado, let's get to the list. (All comments are hers unless indicated otherwise.)

KAIDA'S FAVORITE TWENTY ABBA SONGS

#20 Thank You for the Music - A bit sappy but still a happy song.

#19 Money, Money, Money - When I first hear this song I thought they were saying Honey, Honey, Honey.

#18 Fernando - I added this one in honor of all the Fernandos in my life. (trust me, there are quite a few)

#17 Lay All Your Love on Me - This is a sexy, sexy song.

#16 One of Us - [Hyperion's Note: Kaida forgot to put remarks for this one. I was going to pretend to be her and say something clever, but I fell asleep while watching the video, so I cannot]

#15 Waterloo - This is where I live, how can it not be on the list.

#14 S.O.S. - So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me S.O.S.

#13 Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) - Amen Sister!

#12 Honey Honey - Honey honey, how you thrill me, ah-hah, honey honey.

#11 Chiquitita - This is my second favourite ABBA harmony song. [Hyperion's Note: which came first, this song or the Banana?]

(We're halfway there. This is so exciting!)

#10 I Have a Dream - Simply lovely.

#9 The Winner Takes It All - I'm a little bit influenced by Meryl Streep performance in Mamma Mia here. She owned this song.

#8 Voulez Vous - A very sexy, sexy song. [Hyperion's Note: how on Earth you could rank this song out of the Top 3 is beyond me. It was Voulez Vous more than anything that forced me to take my name off this Abomi...., I mean off this ranking]

#7 The Name of the Game - I think I can see in your face. There's a lot you can teach me.

#6 Knowing Me, Knowing You - Ah hah, there is nothing we can do.......

#5 Does Your Mother Know - I love this song because it highlights the boys of ABBA and it's a man dealing with jailbait. [Hyperion's Note: actually, I better leave this one alone, if I know what's good for me]

#4 Super Trouper - This song has one of ABBA's best harmonies.

#3 Take a Chance on Me - Take a chance, take a chance, take a ccchhhhannnnce. Need I say more. [Hyperion's Note: ACCCCCCCCHHHHHHH! This song was #1 in her first draft. At least we agreed on that. I hate giving her final cut of her own lists.....Grrrrrrrr (This is also the best video. If you were only going to watch one, this should be it)]

#2 Mamma Mia - This song is so catchy. Every time I hear it it sticks in my head for hours.

and the number one ABBA song of all time according to the mighty and musically limited Kaida